Hard questions are fear in disguise
Questions about death that sound like curiosity often come from fear, worry and anger underneath. Asking them openly, even without getting answers, is one way of starting to come to terms with what is coming.
BioMed
Sam uses lists and experiments to pursue questions adults avoid about leukemia and death.
Writing turns dread into understanding
Putting your own life into words, a little at first and then more, can become a tool for working out what your coming death means. Lists, facts and short honest entries give shape to something too large to face all at once.
A wish list compresses a lifetime
With only months left, a written list of things to do before dying turns a lost future into a set of things that can still be done. Even impossible wishes, like seeing the earth from space, can be met in some form, so the list can be finished.
Silliness and clear-eyed dying coexist
A child can be silly, irreverent and full of big dreams while also seeing his own death with clarity. Joking does not mean denying what is happening. Not being ready to die does not stop him looking at it squarely.
Saying 'if' instead of 'when'
A child who knows he will probably die talks about his future conditionally, as in 'if I grow up.' One small word holds both the hope and the honest knowledge that it is unlikely.
A friend's death sharpens living
Watching someone like you die can show you how good it is to be alive, rather than only bringing despair. It can push you to decide to live fully right up to the end.
Your words outlast you
Someone who knows they are dying can write for readers who will only read it after they are gone. They can even arrange for others to record their death so the account is complete. The record becomes a way to keep living after death.
Adults sidestep a dying child's questions
A dying child's plainest questions, like how you know you have died or where you go afterwards, are often the ones the grown-ups around them avoid answering. The silence does not stop the questions. It leaves the child to chase the answers alone.
Choice matters when cure doesn't
A sick child can want to refuse treatment that is not working, even while the adults argue over it. When a cure is out of reach, having a say in your own care and your own ending becomes what matters most.