3 ideas
You cannot actually listen while you are speaking or while preparing your next response, because the brain shifts from intake to output mode. Most people listen only to find a gap to insert their own related story or opinion, which means they are waiting to talk rather than absorbing what the other person said.
When someone shares a problem, resist the urge to say 'I know exactly how you feel' and pivot to your own parallel story, because all experiences are individual and your version recenters the conversation on you. Instead, treat their account as unique and ask questions that draw out their specific situation rather than mapping it onto yours.
Asking questions that begin with 'what' or 'how' rather than questions answerable by yes/no forces the speaker to stop and think, producing answers you couldn't have predicted. This works because leading or closed questions smuggle your assumptions into the exchange, while open questions hand the direction of the conversation to the other person.