4 ideas
Before his death Rabbi Zusya said that in the world to come he would not be asked 'Why were you not Moses?' but 'Why were you not Zusya?' He is measured against his own unrealized potential, not against an external model of greatness. Failure means betraying the particular self one was meant to become, not falling short of someone else.
Rabbi Bunam taught that everyone should carry two slips of paper, one in each pocket. One reads 'For my sake the world was created' and the other 'I am but dust and ashes.' You take out whichever one the moment calls for: dignity when you feel despair or worthlessness, dust when pride swells. Humility and self-worth are both true, and you apply them situationally rather than blending them into a fixed middle.
Rabbi Leib, son of Sarah, said he did not go to the Maggid of Mezritch to hear him interpret Torah. He went to see how the Maggid unlaced his felt boots and laced them up again. On this view, a teacher's real lesson is carried in his ordinary, unguarded conduct, and the disciple learns by watching the whole person, not by receiving doctrine.
Rabbi Moshe Leib of Sasov overheard one drunk peasant ask another, 'Do you love me?' When the friend said yes, the first replied, 'How can you say you love me when you don't know what hurts me?' The rabbi took this as the definition of love: it is attentive knowledge of another person's need and suffering, not a declared feeling.