Letters to His Son

Lord Chesterfield

5 ideas

1. Winning the calendar debate through style

   In 1751 Chesterfield steered the bill adopting the Gregorian calendar through the House of Lords, though he admits he understood little of the astronomy involved. He won the House by speaking elegantly and clearly, and the Lords were persuaded they understood the subject. Lord Macclesfield, an accomplished mathematician who had helped frame the bill, spoke with far more knowledge but less grace and was less applauded. Chesterfield tells the story to prove that in assemblies, delivery rather than substance wins the room.

2. Gentle in manner, firm in substance

   Chesterfield's maxim 'suaviter in modo, fortiter in re' separates how a thing is done from what is done. You hold your goal without giving ground, but you pursue it with courtesy and softness so that others yield without resentment. Firmness alone provokes resistance and gentleness alone gets exploited, so neither works without the other.

3. The graces outweigh raw merit

   Chesterfield argues that manner, address and 'the graces' do more for a person's advancement than learning or virtue. People judge quickly by how you appear and please, and a pleasing manner opens doors before your merit can be tested. He cites the Duke of Marlborough, who had little learning, as a man who rose chiefly by irresistible charm of manner.

4. One thing at a time, fully

   Whatever is worth doing at all is worth doing well, and doing it well requires giving it undivided attention at the moment you do it. Chesterfield holds that there is time enough in a day for everything if you do only one thing at once, whether study, conversation or pleasure. Scattered, absent-minded attention wastes time and, in company, reads as contempt.

5. Wear learning like a pocket watch

   Chesterfield tells his son to carry his learning like a watch in a private pocket: take it out only when asked the time, and never to show that you own one. Knowledge displayed makes others feel inferior and turns them into resentful rivals. The aim in company is to leave people pleased with themselves, and that pleasure is what they will credit to you.

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