When care of the dead shifted from hands-on household work, mostly done by women, into a paid profession, it opened a gap between the living and their dead. Death moved into clinical, fluorescent, disinfected rooms, and families became spectators at their own loss.
Rites after a death exist mainly to help survivors stay connected and carry on. That is why some families keep their dead at home for years, speaking to them and celebrating with them. Judge a funeral by how well it lets mourners keep a bond, not by how tidy it looks.
Mourning goes best when the living personally wash, dress, sit with, or carry the dead body instead of handing it off. Traditions that keep mourners' hands on the body give grief somewhere to go. So go to the cremation and go to the burial rather than letting them happen out of sight.
Fear of corpses and decay is learned from a culture, not a private weakness, so it can't be fixed one person at a time. Shielding ourselves from death backfires and leaves us less ready and less comforted when it comes.
What a culture calls a dignified funeral often amounts to silence, forced composure, and stiff formality. That leaves mourners asking where they are held in their grief. Other cultures show many different ways to honor the dead, some loud, messy, or lasting for years.